AE: ANECDOTES WITH INTENTION

Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane Dear GOD,
I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison Dear GOD,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
-Lucy Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
-Anita Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
-Norma Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now?
-Jane Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil Dear GOD,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
-Jane Dear GOD,
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother.
-Darla Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
-Joyce Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway.
Your friend -- (But I am not going to tell you who I am) Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday?
I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
-Tom L. Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
-Bruce Dear GOD,
If we come back as something - please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
-Denise Dear GOD,
If You give me a genie lamp like Aladin, I will give you anything you want, except my money or my chess set.
-Raphael Dear GOD,
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.
-Danny Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
-Larry Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
-Sam Dear GOD,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
-Dean Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
-Ruth M. Dear GOD,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying.
-Elliott Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
-Nan Dear GOD,
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.
-Rob Dear GOD,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
-Marsha Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
-Mickey D. Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
Love, Chris Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
-Sincerely, Donna Dear GOD:
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do.
-Eddie Dear GOD,
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already.
-Charles Dear GOD,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
-Eugene

Source: Anecdonet

Sue: Do you think it’s a good idea having sex with him?
Una: Well, we’ve been together for more than three months, and we do love each other.
S: You think that’s enough?
U: It seems to be enough for everybody else, so why not us?
S: You’re separating sex from marriage.
U: I guess so.
S: Hmm. You want babies?
U: Not yet anyway.
S: So you’re separating sex from babies too?
U: Isn’t that what the pill and condoms are for?
S: No need, then, for strings like marriage and babies?
U: You’re making sex sound like a big deal. Everybody’s doing it.
S: What about getting rid of more strings?
U: Like?
S: Commitment, faithfulness. Suppose he decided that neither of you should be tied to just one partner?
U: I’d kill him. Then I’d dump him.
S: Who’s making sex sound like a big deal now? Isn’t he only letting go of another string?
U: There has to be faithfulness or there’s nothing.
S: Yes, but what does ‘faithful’ mean when you’re not married? It just means “until one of us gets tired of the other, or meets someone else.”
U: So you’re saying sex, marriage, babies and faithfulness all belong together? That they shouldn’t be separated.
S: Seems to me that if we can cut one string we can cut whatever other ones we like.
U: You make sex sound like a drag, with althese strings.
S: No, I’m making it far more exciting, an adventure. A true love story.
U: Just by keeping it for marriage?
S: Yes. We’re talking body language here.
U: Don’t get you.
S: No? You eye a guy, smile at him, hold hands, hug him. You don’t even need to tell him you’re liking him more and more, your body language says it all. Even more than your words.
U: And next step is sex.
S: You’re awful eager for sex. Slow down. What does the body language, having sex, “say”?
U: Haven’t a clue.
S: Think about it. It says two things: “I give myself totally to you” and “I fully accept your complete gift of yourself to me.” And without that complete giving, the sex is a “lie”, a fraud.
U: Not sure I get that.
S: Ok, the “total” bit. That includes “my exclusive love”, it includes “forever”, it includes “my fertility”, all this I’m giving you. And I accept the same from you.
U: I bet most couples don’t realise that’s what they’re saying when they stand at the altar.
S: And each time they make love afterwards! They’re saying their marriage cannot be broken except by death, they’ll be faithful forever and that their love will always be open to new life.
U: Sounds scary!
S: It’s awesome. And what makes it even more awesome is that God is as truly present in their bedroom as at the altar, deepening their love for each other.
U: You could revolutionise society with these ideas.
S: And the Church too.

Culled from here.