Aslanfirst, life racer and gynkhana winner

I came in this world without being consulted. I see it as a wonderful opportunity to gain the most, with this short time I have always had. This is an English offshoot of a successful Spanish webpage entitled Anecdonet. NOW, PLEASE FOLLOW THE LINK TO GET THE JUICY STORY. That's a part of this hurdle race we are talking about!

What is this about...

Anecdonet English (AE) was born with the aim of providing tools to explain abstract ideas with basic images. Parables and metaphores are a gift for the minds of people immersed in the whirldwind of technology. Use images to explain complex ideas. Parables, comparisons. Moonlight stories. Short stories with intention. WE'RE GLAD TO RECEIVE YOUR COMMENTS.

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Man awaits death when his problem is that his collar is too small


Simple diagnosis
Two ideas:
Firstly to stress the need to choose the right doctor; 
Secondly: to realise that a second oppinion is necessary when the diagnostic is extreme. (...)

The Commodore's Prayer



Here you have one of the most beautiful pieces of Prayer and of Literature. Used on many occasions by Saint Josemaria Escriva:
The Commodore's Prayer


Lord you know better than I do that I am growing old, unless you take me up with you. I pray not to become too locuacious a person, and above all, that I don´t acquire the disastrous costume of always giving my oppinions upon any matter and on any question.

Free me from the mania of being willing to organise everybody´s affairs; that I may not take a long time to refer countless details about things; give me wings to arrive to the conclusion.

A letter written in anger


Not sending a letter written in anger  Lincoln's advice to a politician Lincoln's secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, had some trouble with a major general who accused him in abusive language of favouritism.

When Is a Man Educated


When he can look out upon the universe, glorious and terrible, dark 
and luminous, with a sense of his own littleness in the scheme of 
things, and yet have faith and courage. 

When he knows how to make friends And keep them. And above all, 
When he can keep friends with himself. 

When he can look an honest man or a pure women straight in the eye. 

When he loves flowers, can hunt birds without a gun and can feel 
the stir of forgotten joy in the laughter of a little girl. 

When he knows that hoeing corn is as honorable as playing golf. (...)

Sayings about prayer

Sayings about Prayer

Some quotations suitable to illustrate teaching
If we would return to apostolic practice — waiting upon the Lord for apostolic power — we could then go forth to apostolic possibilities! Ravenhill

The people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones that do. The Apple Advert

When we are one with God’s love, we own all things in him. They are ours to offer him in Christ his Son. For all things belong to the sons and daughters of God and we are Christ’s and Christ is God’s. Thomas Merton

It continues...



Prayer is the language of one burdened with a sense of need. It is the voice of the beggar, conscious of his poverty, asking of another the things he needs. Not to pray is not only to declare there is nothing needed, but to admit to a non-realisation of that need. E.M.Bounds 

To pray is to descend with the mind into the heart, and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever-present, all-seeing, within you. Theophan the Recluse

God has left certain things open to prayer — things which will never be done except as we pray. Stanley Jones

A life for a Party


We don't always realize that children are persons and not OPTIONS. Therefore many times we might be choosing "things" (beautiful things, though) instead of the joy children bring.
On a hard note, abortion is a very tough choice; there, selfishness prevails.
Read the
following short story, illustrating this thought...

The Stranger


The Stranger 

At Christmas time there was a man who looked so out of place, as people who rushed about him at a hurried sort of pace. He stared at all the Christmas lights, the tinsel everywhere, The shopping center, Santa Claus, with children gathered near. 

The Mall was packed with shoppers who were going to and fro, some with smiles and some with frowns and some too tired to go. They rested on the benches or they hurried on their way, to fight the crowd for purchases to carry home that day. 

The music from a stereo was playing loud and clear of Santa Claus, and snow men, and a funny-nosed reindeer. He heard the people talk about the good times on the way, of parties, fun, and food galore, and gifts exchanged that day. 

"I'd like to know what's going on," the man was heard to say, "There seems to be some sort of celebration on the way. "And would you tell me who this is, all dressed in red and white? And why are children asking him about a special night"? (...)

A person who makes you angry conquers you



A Cure for Anger
A person who makes you angry conquers you

Elizabeth Kenny, the famed Australian nurse and originator of the Kenny method of polio treatment, was once asked by a friend how she managed to stay so constantly cheerful.  Said the friend, "I suppose you were just born calm and smiling." (...)

Our Beloved Son, John



The Beloved John
            I was called to the delivery room one night to assist with a term infant because of a small amount of meconium that was present. Meconium is the substance within the bowels of the infant before delivery, and it can sometimes signal distress or abnormality in the infant.  It generally requires a pediatrician or other qualified individual to be in attendance.  However, most of the time these babies are born without complication and are healthy and normal.
            In the delivery room, both mother and father were anxious yet happy as they anticipated the birth of their first baby.  The pregnancy had been uneventful.  But when the baby was born, it was immediately apparent that there was a significant problem.  The baby was anencephalic.  This means that there is essentially no upper brain, and the dome of the calvarium, or skull, is also absent.  These babies generally don't survive the immediate newborn period, and often they have other significant abnormalities.
            The obstetrician immediately handed the baby to me.  Even the father, beside himself in anticipation and excitement, could see that the baby was not normal.  The mother had not been sedated and, of course, wanted to see her baby right away.  The baby did not cry significantly, but it was not in any serious respiratory distress.  It did maintain a deep bluish color, indicating the possibility of severe heart disease, which is common in these infants.

The Gambler


Getting back at people
May I Join?
A fellow is getting ready to tee-off on first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him.  The first says that he usually plays alone but agrees to let the second guy join him. Both are even after the first couple of holes. The second guy says "Say, we're about evenly matched, how about we play for a $5 a hole

6 reasons not to mess with children


6 reasons not to mess with children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ". (...)

Dont mess with children

Can't we live together???



15. Say it in English
Good message from Ben Stein
Sometimes we all need a reality check! Worth a read...

If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben Stein is just
a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who knows how to put ideas and words together in such a way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.


Herewith a few confessions from my beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Bob Marley died a Catholic?

Yes, it is true. Bob Marley died a Catholic. Mr. Dallas Carter of the Hawaiian royal family personally and directly asked Marley's Bishop about this in 2003. The very same Bishop who heard Marley's deathbed confession.

His death bed conversion/confession does not, however, "canonize" his musical recordings. (...)


Culture shows in Economics

The world economics show the differences among peoples. Basically they have to do with their different walks-of-life and styles. See the funny list of differences, according to their origin.


TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS 
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.

INDIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows. 
You worship them.

PAKISTANI ECONOMICS
You don't have any cows.
You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs Japan for equipment.
You buy the cows with all this and claim exploitation by the world. (...)

Bebo, like other virtual communities...


A word on BEBO

Man's pride in repairing a fence


Do work well for God   

Doing A Good Job Pays Off

Once upon a time a man sent for a carpenter. A sturdy young fellow appeared. "I want this fence mended," said the man, "but I don't want to spend much money on it. Here are some unplaned boards, use them. You need not take much time to do a fancy job.  I will give you only three dollars for your work. I will come back tomorrow and pay you."

The next day the man came to inspect the fence. He found the boards carefully planed and neatly nailed in place. The fence, which had badly sagged, was neatly straightened up. The man was surprised and much pleased at the excellent job, but feared that the cost would be greater than he had ordered. So he called in the workman. "I'm afraid you've gone to much more expense on this job than I wanted," said the man, a bit irritated. "I really did not care how it looked."

"But I DID," replied the workman. "You see, it was MY work, not yours, that mended the fence and I wanted to do the work right."

"But I did not want to go to much expense," said the man. "I admit it looks nice; but now tell me, how much do I owe you?"

"Three dollars," said the workman.

The owner of the fence stared at the workman, "How could you do all that work for so little money?" he asked.

"Because it was my job and it had to be right!"

"Nobody would have seen the fence after I got the vines on it," said the man. "But I would know that I did a poor job," replied the workman, "and every time I would look at it, I would have to say to myself, 'Joe, you're a fake; you could havedone a good job and be square with yourself.' No, my friend, I cannot do a poor job, and live with myself."

Some years later, the man had a contract to let for the construction of several large public buildings. There were many applicants among the master builders, but the face of one of them caught his eye. "It was my man of the fence," he said. "I knew we would have only genuine work with him, so I gave him the contract and it made him a rich man." 

You are worth it

Bees distinguish real flowers from artificial ones

There is a legend that the Queen of Sheba once sent two wreathes of roses to Solomon. One was genuine and the other was artificial. According to the legend, she defied Solomon to detect which was artificial and which was genuine.

Solomon opened the window and let in a swarm of bees, which at once settled on the real roses.

Likewise, God knows the difference between sincere and insincere worship. 


You are worth  it!

Ornitology, A Joke on Birds

Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology - (To you and I, that's the study of birds). The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready.

Coherence and service in politics

COURAGE OF BEING COHERENT IN PUBLIC LIFE Hilaire Belloc, the well-known historian –author of “How The Reformation Happened”- and inseparable friend of Maurice Baring and G.K. Chesterton stood for the Liberals at South Salford in a General Election. Belloc’s Conservative opponents adopted the campaign slogan “Don’t vote for a Frenchman and a Catholic”. Belloc responded in the first public meeting: “Gentlemen, I am a Catholic....

The sea shell

It is a story about liturgy, sacrament, and repairing the world with justice and redemption. “The Shell Story” is ancient yet ever new, universal yet singular to all human beings.
Once upon a time there was an island that lived on ancient ways. Its most prized possession was a conch shell that was sounded ritually to still the winds, ease the storms, and placate the rain and thunder beings. It was a way to sing to the gods. It was a great whorled shell the colour of the moon, patterned and perfect, well worn...

The chicken drama


To do what you can is important; otherwise, we use the excuse "I can't change things...", to do nothing about it.
Recently, after having dinner at an outdoor chicken restaurant in Guayaquil, we had one piece of chicken left with everyone too full to eat it. I immediately thought I would like to take it with us and give it to a beggar in the street. (This was a new thought for me; previously I would have left it.)...

Thinking is a Part of the Job

Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937) New Zealand physicist One student in Rutherford's lab was very hard-working. Rutherford had noticed it and asked one evening...

On Tolkien's Faith


She gave her life for the faith and Tolkien never forgot it.
The martyr
When he was eight, his mother—overworked and worn out from poverty and the emotional pressures of family members who continued to criticize her conversion—lapsed into a diabetic coma and died in six days. 



The Lord of Heaven and Middle Earth
J.R.R. Tolkien's Work and his Catholic Faith
by Eric Scheske

His father died when he was four. 

When he was eight, his mother had to go back to work to support her children when an Anglican relative withheld financial support because of her conversion to Catholicism. (The establishment in England at this time was prejudiced against "popery " to an extent scarcely conceivable today.) 

The martyr
Four years later, his mother—overworked and worn out from poverty and the emotional pressures of family members who continued to criticize her conversion—lapsed into a diabetic coma and died in six days. 

The boy was left in the care of Fr. Francis Morgan, a priest appointed by the mother to act as guardian...

Absent-Mindedness

Absent-mindedness and looking harder

On one occasion, Erdös met a mathematician and asked him where he was from. "Vancouver,"...

How it would be if prisons would be run the Christian way

A Christian Prison Christ’ kingship

Near the city of Sao Jose dos Campos, Brazil, there is a remarkable facility. Twenty years ago the Brazilian government turned a prison over to two Christians. The institution was renamed Humaita, and the plan was to run it on Christian principles. With the exception of two full-time staff, all the work is done by inmates. Families outside the prison adopt an inmate to work with during and after his term. Chuck Colson visited the prison and made this report: (...)

The Limits of Love

After the divorce, her teenage daughter became increasingly rebellious. It culminated late one night when the police called to tell her that she had to come to the police station to pick up her daughter, who was arrested for drunk driving...

Five Lessons

FIVE LESSONS: 
1 - Most Important Lesson 

During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" 
Surely, this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are
significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'." 
"I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy. (...)

The Top Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before I Left Home

he Top Ten Things I Wish I Knew Before I Left Home

10. Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying "Why, thank you".

9. Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on stage singing, some are in the audience as critics and some are there to applaud.
Know who and where you are.

8. Never give yourself a haircut. (...)



Voice mail

hank you for calling My Father's House. Please select 

one of the following options: 

  • Press 1 for requests.
  • Press 2 for thanksgiving
  • Press 3 for complaints.
  • Press 4 for all other inquiries.


All the angels are helping other customers right now. 

Please stay on the line, and your call will be answered in the order it was received. 

If you'd like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you're on hold, press 4. (...)


Now it's your turn, my friends

Puccini 

Here is a story of Puccini, the great Italian writer of such classic operas as "Madame Butterfly" and "La Boheme." It seems when Puccini was fairly young, he contracted cancer, and so he decided to spend his last days writing his final opera, Turnandot, which was one of his most polished pieces...

Introduction to Anecdonet English

Inspirational anecdotes or stories. 
Thesaurus of rocourses to trainning and moral formation.
Help us to pass on the message to those who want to listen.
Those interested should be able to participate actively. 

Graphic ways of conveying moral thoughts or good ideas (be Christian or not: good has no brand, if it is good!) are welcome.

To the Real Dad

The Real Dad 


Here's the real story behind dear ol' Dad 


Here's to the fathers, who always begin, on 
the outside of children, 
but looking in. 
Such curious men snapping 
cameras like mad, recording 
the moment, they turn into 
Here's to the fathers, who put 
in their time, who don't say to 
mother's that's your job, not mine. 
Who wipe chins and noses and never 
say "won't" who do with the 
diapers, what some fathers don't. 
Here's to the fathers who manage to stay 
when so many fathers are turning away. 
When so many run, leaving families to rot, 

Perseverance, Canoeist

A British man crossed the Pacific alone. And, he lived to tell about it

Jim Shekdar recently became the first person ever to row across the Pacific Ocean unassisted. His voyage began in Peru on June 29, 2000. He rowed alone in a small boat called "Le Shark", traveling about ten miles a day and covering more than 8,000 miles total. On March 30, 2001 - 274 days after he started- he arrived safely on the other side of the Pacific, near Brisbane, Australia.
Not long after he set out, Shekdar realized that he'd forgotten his tool for opening tins of food. Later on in the journey, he ran out of cooking gas. By the time he reached Australia, his provisions had run dangerously low, and he'd lost more than eighty pounds. (...)

See Me (Affection -charity- to our seniors)

See Me
Affection (charity) to our seniors

This poem was written by an old woman 
living in a nursing home in Ireland. 
It was found among her things when she died.

What do you see nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking when you look at me?
A crabbit old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice- "I do wish you'd try."
And forever is losing a sock or a shoe.
Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.
Is that what you think, is that what you see?
Open your eyes, nurse, you're not looking at me. (...)

Anecdonet in English


We start ANECDONET in English with a smile.
Here you have A SET OF JOKES TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT !

Please, handle with care!
WIFE VS. HUSBAND 
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.' 

W O R D S 

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' 
(...)
 

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